Archive by Author | Evil Wordsmith

The Prince And Racing

Commentary By An Almost 10 Year Old

This evening we were watching How It’s Made and we saw a rally where the cars were running through mud puddles. I said, “That’s what they need for those dull mile and a half tracks in Nascar, a big mud puddle in the middle of the back stretch.”

Kid says, “No matter what, Montoya will still be able to set something on fire in it.”

The Queen and I both cracked up.

It’s pretty scary that the Queen actually found a picture of a car in the mud, on fire. Hope that’s not Montoya that they’re pulling out of there.

NFL Super Bowl XLVII

Feb3

Evil Looks Over The Superbowl

I had a post written up for the conference week but I never posted it, but let’s not discuss that…

This week is the Superbowl and my predictions this week will be right on target. Maybe. Problem is, whenever I make a prediction about a B team, like Baltimore last week, they screw it up. At least I can’t go 0-2 this weekend.

Bottom line here, New England will not beat Atlanta in the Superbowl. Unless they do it out in the parking lot. Honestly, would love to see that.

My take:

Away	Home	Away	Home	Favorite	Line	O/U
Baltimore	San Francisco	20	23	San Francisco	3	43

Vegas this week:

Favorite	Line	O/U	Bet	O/U
San Francisco	3	48	Baltimore	Under

E.W.

I blame the Atlanta and New England for all the things that went wrong last week. Especially New England.

NFL Divisional Week

Jan12

Evil Covers The Weekend In Playoffs

The boys in Vegas must be confused, they seem to think that just because Denver can stomp Kansas City into the dirt that they can do that to Baltimore. There’s a key difference between Baltimore and Kansas City: Baltimore has actual professional football players on their team. You know the kinda guy I’m talking about, that guy who can say quietly “Sit down.” during a bar fight and turn the fight into a game of musical chairs. Denver will eek by today.

Time to see if Green Bay are genii. The computer says that San Francisco will be even tougher now, and will win by 4.

Bottom line here, New England will still beat Atlanta in the Superbowl.

My take: Continue reading →

NFL Wildcard Week

Jan5

Evil’s Playoff Picks For Wildcard Weekend

Score another one for my gut. If Quinn was hiding Denver’s superbowl rings in his cup, they’re not there anymore. No word on if they found his cup. Denver is now top of the AFC and they get a rematch with New England, this time in Denver. The computer says that NE will still stomp them into the dirt just like last year. If Tebow was holding them back, it wasn’t that much.

I think I see the method behind the madness of the Green Bay loss. By losing to Minnesota they avoid all the tough games in the playoffs. However the computer says that San Francisco will be tough enough anyway.

Bottom line here, New England will still beat Atlanta in the Superbowl.

My take for Wild Card Weekend: Continue reading →

Evil Through the Looking Glass

Dec30

Through The Looking Glass

Dealing With The Black Screen Of Death

My Queen’s hard drive went deep six on the day after Thanksgiving. It’s been that kind of year for us. At first I thought that it was simply that the OS got borked, because I put in a Knoppix disk and could see the hard drive. In fact, from Knoppix she backed up her important files. What ensued next is my odyssey through the looking glass to reinstall Windows 7 on her machine.

The first thing you do on a factory install of Windows 7 is to attempt to boot to the recovery console, check the disk and repair the OS from the backup copy on the drive. Unfortunately, the option did not show up for us. Booting every other possible way, safe mode, safe mode command prompt, minimum display resolution, etc… they all resulted in the same condition. A black screen with a movable mouse pointer. I know that there will be people searching this later so I wanted that phrase in the article. If they come here first they will know how to fix this and they will know just how screwed they are. Continue reading →

NFL Week 17

Dec30

Evil Makes His Final Picks Of The Regular Season

Well the pattern was right. Nothing else was. My computer assures me that had Cleveland’s offense showed up at the game, they would have given Denver what-for. I’m down to 59% on my picks, largely thanks to the sudden change in ability by Washington and Carolina. Who knew they had football players on those teams? Dallas and Atlanta clearly didn’t.

There’s another “good” bet today. And that is Kansas City will cover the 16 point spread as Denver stomps them. Actually the computer says that Kansas City will only lose by 4 points. Not sure I’d actually put money on this either, cause Denver is suddenly near the top of the AFC. Like Washington and Carolina, they have come out of nowhere. Makes me wonder if Tebow was holding them back last year.

I expect Denver will play like Quinn has personally stolen their Superbowl rings and hidden them in his jock strap. And I expect Kansas City will play like Quinn has personally stolen the Denver Superbowl rings and hidden them in his jock strap, and Denver is coming to kill them for it. I expect there will be some scoring by the Denver D.

My take: Continue reading →

NFL Weeks 15 and 16

Dec22

Evil’s Week 15 Results and Week 16 Picks

Turns out that during Week 14 there was a good bet, but the spreads weren’t posted by the time I put up my predictions. The bet was that Oakland would cover the 10 point spread by beating Denver. Well it was a good bet all the way up till they actually played (or in the case of Oakland, not…) the game.

Then likewise there was a good bet that Baltimore would cover the 3 point spread by beating the crap out of Denver. Which goes to prove my rule: Never make bets on the B teams. Baltimore and Buffalo will play fine right up until the moment you put money on them. Then, suddenly, they mimic Oakland.

So imagine my terror as I tell you that the only good bet this week is that Cleveland will cover the 13 point spread versus Denver. I see a terrifying pattern where I lose all my money to a bookie. I guess it’s fortunate I have no money. Continue reading →

NFL Week 14

Dec9

Sir Evil Makes His Assessments and Picks

Week 14

The game to watch this week: Houston at the Pats. This game decides which team goes to the Superbowl to beat Atlanta.

I got the bet right on the Dallas game. Sad to say Philly didn’t beat them though. I guess the Dallas fans are out of money now, cause there aren’t any good bets this week.

My take: Continue reading →

NFL Week 13

Dec2

Sir Evil’s Picks

Well the computer figured on the Lions eating the Texans but it looks like Texans like Lions for dinner. Hear they taste just like everything else the Texans have eaten.

For Dallas fans, I got good news and bad news. Good news! You will not have the crap beat out of you by the Bears in the playoffs. Bad news: If you are there at all, you will be safely in the stands watching the game.

My take: Continue reading →

NFL Week 12

Nov22

Evil’s Picks and Results

Got 9 games, but gambling went into the crapper.

Noticed the Texans did their best to feed the kitties. But in the end, they finally cut them into steaks and roasted them. Today they will probably have some bigger kitties instead of turkey.

Since last week the prediction for the Superbowl has changed. Atlanta goes, Green Bay doesn’t. For the few weeks before that favor shifted ever so slightly from Green Bay to New England. Now the computer says the Pats will beat Atlanta.

My take: Continue reading →