Evil Wordsmith

05/06/2012 – Tony Stewart’s Post Race Interview at Talladega

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May 072012

Bizarre or Vintage Tony? I say: Welcome Back Smoke!

Tony Stewart - May 6th Talladega Interview

Tony’s comments immediately after his frustrating finish at Talladega on May 6th have been labeled as funny, sarcastic, bizarre, disrespectful, a mockery and degrading to the sport. Questions have been raised about potential fines by Nascar for violation of Section 12-4-A of the NASCAR rulebook, which covers everything “detrimental to the sport.” If Nascar fined him for this, fans would be all over the sanctioning body raising cain!

Thankfully Nascar announced today they will not be penalizing the People’s Champion for his comments, saying they are not detrimental to the sport.

For those of us who know Tony’s sarcasm, the interview was vintage Stewart and we LOVE it! His sarcasm is part of what we like most about him. And truth be told, his comments were making a point! NASCAR needs to make a few changes before they return to this 2.66-mile track. Continue reading »

How the Draft Deals with Scandal or Operation Shell Game

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May 012012

When you are President, there is nothing worse than being wakened at 4 AM. Oh wait, yes there is. Being wakened at 4 AM by Spin Cycle, the code word for the White House Communications Director. You roll over in the bed and pick up the phone that’s making the annoying sound that woke you up. “Spin, if you have come to spread some cheer to me, I’m going to have Agent Smith shoot you.”

He bursts into your bedroom. “Oh there’s no cheer today, sir. And Agent Smith’s not here which oddly is the reason I came to talk to you.”

As you sit up and pull on your warmups, you recall groggily that Agent Smith and his team has been sent ahead to “secure” your hotel in Grindo Zero, codeword for Cartagena. Once again you’ve been tasked to attend a “summit” meeting, which is an apt description of all of these. They all are a lot like mountain climbing. It’s real hard, you have to be insane to do it even if you use all the safety equipment and it accomplishes absolutely nothing.

“About that, how’s the speech coming?”

“Oh,” he says all too chipperly, “it’s coming along nicely, I’ll have the first draft in a couple days.” Continue reading »

Scratch One Career Option

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Apr 252012

The Prince will never be suited for a life of crime. Here’s why:

When I’m away on business, the last thing the Prince does in the evening is read a chapter of his reading book. Currently that would be the Hank the Cowdog series by John Erickson. So one night a few weeks ago, it’s reading time and I ask him what chapter we’re reading. He tells me that it’s chapter 5 and I tell him no, it’s got to be chapter 6 because we already read the part at the end of chapter 5.

To this he replies, “Are you sure? I thought I read that when I was sneaking in the closet last night.”

I said, “What?”

“Oh… um… nothing, nevermind.”

E.W.

My son sneaks out of bed to read. Guess that explains the 12th grade reading level.

The Simple Things

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Apr 152012

Do You Like Trains?

Many people plan for months for their spring break. Taking exotic vacations, or visiting family or running off to the beach for fun in the sun after the cold winter months. But in this financial recession many families can’t afford those big plans to get away from it all. For those folks there’s still things to do to enjoy the week and relax a little.

We’ve learned that sometimes the best memories come from the simple things that cost little to no money at all. As long as you’re spending the time with those you love. And doing something you truly enjoy doing.

Evil & Spring 04/2012 - Watching the Trains In Ashland

For us, that’s a little 20 minute trip into town. In particular into Ashland, Virginia. Touted as the “Center of the Universe“, it’s a simple little historic town where one of the countries oldest colleges calls home. That would be Randolf-Macon College.

One of the advantages of living in the middle of no where is that going into town is often a an adventure. And that’s true for us.

Because we’re so far away from civilization we plan our trips, whither we go north to Fredericksburg or south to Ashland.

But on occasion taking a spontaneous trip brings the most fun. And on our last Saturday of Spring Break that’s exactly what we decided to do. We made it a train day! Continue reading »

New Research About The Athletics of Nascar

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Apr 132012

3-Time Champion Tony Stewart

Update:

In 2010 I wrote an article about the validation of Nascar as a sport and it’s Drivers as athletes. New research and more information has been published since then. So I took the opportunity to update my initial article to include the new data.

Check it out: Is Nascar A Sport? Are Nascar Drivers Athletes?

The White House Honors 2011 NASCAR Champion

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Apr 122012

2011 Chase Drivers Honored

The White House Welcomes the NASCAR Champion, Tuesday April 17, 2012. The tributes to sports teams are a long-stranding presidential tradition. It’s an opportunity for the President to celebrate excellence and achievement by American sportsmen and women.

Tony Stewart of Stewart-Haas Racing

The 30th President of the United States is credited with starting the practice. In October of 1924, Calvin Coolidge welcomed the Washington Senators after winning the American League championship. “The Washington team won because it deserved to win,” said Pres. Coolidge. And the same could be said about our own 2011 Nascar Champion Tony Stewart and the entire #14 Office Depot/Mobil 1 team!

Say what you will about Pres. Obama, he’s still the sitting President of the United States and it’s an honor for any sports champions to be recognized by the White House.

Every Nascar fan agrees that last year was a unique and special Championship series. The level of intensity expressed by Stewart-Haas Racing and in particular the #14 team and our 3-Time Champion Tony Stewart especially, was a story for the ages. It was spectacular. It was heroic. It was an excellent achievement to raise the bar in the last 10 races of the season. And it deserves the same recognition that any NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB champions have received no matter who is in the Oval Office. It’s about the history of recognition and accomplishment by a country who is grateful to have heroes to cheer for on Sundays. Continue reading »

Mixology: Captn Jack White & Captn Jack Black

General Musings Comments Off

Apr 112012

Spiced Rum Recipes

Last night we went to dinner at one of our favorite places. During dinner we began talking about Sir Evil’s brother and his favored drink. We asked the bartender if they had ever heard of such a drink and did it have a name? She hadn’t heard of it, but thought it was interesting and called a friend who teaches Mixology. Yes he had heard of the drink, but as far as he knew it didn’t have a name. We began thinking up names and we finally came up with one that we think is perfect for a ‘rum’ drink.

Here are two drink recipes for you. Compliments of Sir Evil’s brother. And inspired by Captn Jack Sparrow’s love of rum!

Captn Jack White:

2 ozs spiced rum
1 cup milk
Optional: 1/2 tsp vanilla

Captn Jack Black:

2 ozs spiced rum
1 cup milk
1 tbsp chocolate syrup
Optional: 1/2 tsp vanilla

How the Draft Allows the President to Give 110% to the ninety-nine percenters or Operation Occupulco Spring

Drafting POTUS Comments Off

Mar 312012

You are President Jones. You are in the Amityville Horror, which is the codeword for the White House. You are here because you have given up on trying to escape. It might be Stockholm Syndrome. At least the place has good whiskey, food and TV.

As the President, you are expected to keep the wheels of industry turning by keeping them greased. And it doesn’t hurt if a little grease rubs off into your wallet either. So today, you’re going to be receiving a couple visitors who are the driving force behind those cogs and sprockets. It seems that they have an urgent problem and believe that you’re the guy to solve it. You do not have to be very bright to be a banker you guess.

Right on time, the intercom chimes and Brick House says, “Sir, your one o’clock is ready, Mr. Blank…”

“Brick?…” She really hates the codewords.

“Thurston Howell the Third and J.R. Ewing are here to see you, sir.”

It amazes you how she can enunciate so well without ever unclenching her teeth. “Please, send them in.”

The door opens and a couple of guys enter. They seem like ordinary rich people, but you know, in fact, that they are the people who actually run the Earth. Yes, kids, there are jobs even worse than being President. You usher them to the couch while Brick House gets them a couple of drinks. Continue reading »

This Is Your Brain On Stupid — #4

Kids R Funny Comments Off

Mar 302012

The Wheel Barrel Incident

Um..Momma..I went into the backyard and recognized that the wheel barrel was filled with water and I put dirt in it, so it was muddy water. And I tried to pour it out…and…I poured it out into the lake…and..the wheel barrel went with it! Now I can’t get out!

Yep..the man child does it again…

A Nascar Record That Can Never Be Broken

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Mar 282012

Robert “Red” Bryon
(March 12, 1915 – November 11, 1960)

"Red" Byron

The first race run at the Martinsville “paper clip” occurred on September 7, 1947 and Robert “Red” Bryon won $500 out of a $2,000 purse.

Robert “Red” Byron holds a record that can never be broken: he was the first NASCAR points champion. Red won the first NASCAR-sanctioned race on the beach-road course on February 15, 1948. He won 11 races that year, finished in the top three 23 times, and captured the first NASCAR championship.

Boulder, CO, Robert “Red” Byron moved to Anniston, AL at an early age. During World War II Byron served as a tail gunner on 57 missions in a B-24. He was shot down over Kikta in the Aleutian Islands on his 58th mission; one he flew for a friend whose wife was expected to give birth to their first child at any moment.

Although the doctors did not know if he would ever walk again, Red was determined to race. After 27 months in military hospitals with doctors trying to rebuild his left leg, Red returned to racing in February 1946.

Red retired from racing in the early 1950’s to head a sports car racing team. He died in 1960 from a heart attack. He was only 45. In 1966, Byron was inducted into the National Motorsports Press Association’s Hall of Fame at Darlington Raceway.

Older Entries

05/06/2012 – Tony Stewart’s Post Race Interview at Talladega

How the Draft Deals with Scandal or Operation Shell Game

Scratch One Career Option

The Simple Things

New Research About The Athletics of Nascar

The White House Honors 2011 NASCAR Champion

Mixology: Captn Jack White & Captn Jack Black

How the Draft Allows the President to Give 110% to the ninety-nine percenters or Operation Occupulco Spring

This Is Your Brain On Stupid — #4

A Nascar Record That Can Never Be Broken

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