Last night as the family was going to bed we were doing our usual impression of The Waltons, “Good night kid, good night Momma, Good night Daddy…” We heard the one of the cats getting into the toilet paper in the bathroom. I put the kibosh on that and went back to bed. I said, “We need some balloons so we can keep them out of the toilet paper and other various things they should avoid getting into.”

After a minute or so, which I suppose was how long it took the kid’s mind roll this around, the kid said, “That would be cool, if we hung the toilet paper from the balloon then they wouldn’t be able to reach it.”

Suddenly we’re cracking up because I started imagining all kinds of things hanging from helium balloons. I’m guessing the kid still doesn’t know how balloons really work to keep cats out of things.

E.W.

And I know some of you out there don’t know either. If you put a balloon in front of something you don’t want the cat to bother, when they swipe at it or try to climb it, it explodes. Most cats avoid those places afterwards.

© 2012 Evil Wordsmith. Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved.

We spent the last of our present money on going to dinner for our family New Years celebration. We just LOVE the Texas Roadhouse! While there we watched the coverage from the sports bar of the College bowl games. And being New Years Eve there were commercials about Drinking and Driving. The waitresses and waiters made comments about it when they took our order, delivered food and brought the check. Be safe, don’t drink and drive.

At some point in this public message media blitz, the Prince says to Daddy “Momma does it all the time, the drinking and driving.” Daddy asked what he meant since Momma doesn’t drink and the Prince replies “She’s always got a sunkist in the car and drinks when she’s driving.”

Well, that’s true. Shameless plug for Diet Sunskit!

© 2010 Evil Wordsmith. Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved.

While watching his team, the Philadelphia Eagles take on the San Francisco 49’ers:
“Momma, Cheerleaders with their cloths on look better.
Without their cloths, not so much.”

SirEvil Daddy – “Boy are you crazy?”

Momma – “That’s right honey, they do look better that way.”

The Queen is big on eating dinner at the dinner table, with the TV in the living room off! Dinner time comes and she makes her usual evening announcement.

Queen: Ok, dinner’s ready, turn off the TV and come on.

Prince: Mom! It’s TV dinners, you’re supposed to have the TV on!

© 2009 Evil Wordsmith. Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved.

Working from home means we have a few luxuries that most parents don’t enjoy. We take our son to and from school, instead of making him ride the bus.

Today the little Prince came home from school and asked why Mom couldn’t come pick him up with Daddy? When we told him I wasn’t feeling well and have a temperature, he put his hand on my face and said “Wow I can feel your hot”.

© 2009 Evil Wordsmith. Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved.

Happy Birthday!

Penny is our son’s little stuffed dog that he cannot be separated from. I had put in my calendar the day we bought her and an automatic reminder came up on Sunday that it was coming up. Our kid is getting very good at reading, so when the message popped up he rushed over to my laptop and read the message while I was cooking dinner. Suddenly I hear “Momma Momma it’s Penny’s birthday!” He was disappointed when I said no that’s tomorrow. To which he replied can we have a party with cake and hats? So guess where Momma was today. Thank Gods Target had a clearance sale and I found some bday hats and matching plates.

He also asked for a chocolate cake with balloons on it. Yeah…I might find a chocolate cake. Might find a cake with balloons on it. But the likelihood of finding a chocolate cake ‘with’ balloons was going to be near to impossible. This morning I had to prepare him for one or the other, which do you want more? He chose the balloons. Continue reading →

The Prince comes up to me after we get home from school and tries to tell me what he learned today. He starts with this..

“Momma, did you know swine flu comes from pigs?”

Yes, I did. You know pigs are a lot like people?

“Yeah cause they roll around in the mud and so do people”.

© 2012 Evil Wordsmith. Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved.

In 2003 we were blessed with a son. A perfect gift for me, as he was born 4 days after my birthday.  Our little Prince, started school this year. This new adventure has been a great source of humor for us.

So here we will share some of his special quotes that simply make the grown ups smile, laugh or say awe!

We’ll start with a recent remark.

The Prince:  “Mom, what day is it?”
Mom:  “It’s Thursday.”
The Prince: “Is it the thirty-est one day?”

© 2009 Evil Wordsmith. Evilwordsmith.com. All Rights Reserved.

This week was the Munchkin’s first week of school ever. It was also the first week of the new school and there were a few problems on its shakedown voyage into education. I also learned some things I didn’t know about mothers this week.

His first week ended a few hours short since it is also race week here. We picked him up early on Friday to go tailgate and watch the race. Friday the race was between tropical storm Hanna and NASCAR. Hanna won by about 6 hours. Pretty amazing weather, made it seem like we came back home on a different day than we left. When we got to the track, it was sunny, windless and about 90. When we left the wind was knocking over tailgate tents and it was cold and wet. Continue reading →