When The Bump and Run Works
Since we lost Earnhardt Senior, there has been more or less a gentleman’s agreement between NASCAR drivers about the rules of civilized racing. Lately, however, there is one driver who seems to be gaming those rules. He seems to have his own set of rules on booting that driver out of his way. That driver is Joey Logano.
So in that spirit I have drafted the unsaid rules for his class in Booting Drivers:
1. I do not need to look, I know they are flipping me off.
2. Never admit that you wrecked the car in front of you.
3. Never admit that you made contact with the car in front of you.
4. Never acknowledge that you noticed the wreck at all.
5. Do not apologize for the wreck, even after you’ve seen the video.
6. Do not be involved in the wreck. It is bump AND run, run being the important part.
7. If he had the faster car, then he couldn’t have been bumped. Q.E.D.
8. If he wants to chat with you in the infield, stay in your car.
9. If you are already out of your car when he comes to chat, keep your helmet on.
10. Never go anywhere without your Dad.
11. If the news guy asks if you are a genius, the answer is “Yes.”
12. If the air can make you wreck, there was really no way you were going to be able to deal with me.
13. When you are not admitting fault for the wreck you didn’t see, always mention your sponsors.
14. If it ain’t broke, fixing it makes it your fault when it don’t work.
15. Yes, I blocked you.
16. If you’re complaining about me blocking you, then it obviously worked.
I”m positive that I don’t have all the rules enumerated here. I think I need to go watch some old races with Senior in them.
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